“The Pacifist at the Cage Fight” by Kelsey Jordan

The first thing I see is two men against the chain cage.
Then the glory of the crowd beats
at my ears while men push broad shoulders against my back
and I can see the veins in their necks pound.
The smell of fresh tapped beer
spilled from cups, turns metallic with the sight of fresh blood.

Once we see it, we can taste it. Blood
in our mouths as we bite our tongues and spray our envy at the cage.
Two men clench life between their mouth guards as I grab ahold of the beer.
One in each fist I sip as they beat to the beat
of the rising and falling of blood, watch it pound
the mat while the crowd pounds back.

We congratulate each other, open palm to the back,
celebrate that it’s not ours, not our family’s blood
that is yellowed with the pound
of mops and solvent that changes the taste of the air around the cage.
I forget why I scream as my body undulates to the beat
of the lingering music of fist to skin and the slosh and ebb of beer

that threatens to spill from the sides of each cup. Beer
in mouth from the left, beer down the back
of my throat from the right. It’s rhythmic as I beat
the liquid down to juxtapose with my blood
to let it fill my arteries as they flail against my ribcage.
Thinning my blood as it pounds

with the fists waving in air. Pounds
with the crest of golden beer
that roars and splatters against the cage,
staining broad, forcefully undulating backs
as it yellows everything to the color of washed out blood.
While taped hands form fists and beat

in rhythm to beer slapping through the veins of the crowd and beat
against flesh that has been measured by the pound.
I forget why I yell but know in my blood
as it grows bitter with beer
that I will not turn, reveal my back
to life, base and pure, that plays out in the cage.

I beat my fists in the air, clenched around plastic cups of beer,
pull my jaw back and pour out the sound of life that pounds
in my blood and splatter it where I would not go, the cage.

+

Kelsey Jordan is a recent graduate of Pacific University majoring in creative writing and anthropology. She was born and raised in Oregon.