“How to Get Into a Condom” by Alan Gillespie

stand. thrust your bum to the fore. look down.
unzip the foil wrapper. do not use your teeth.
you will need one erect penis to put into the condom.
your partner should be able to assist with this.

roll downward to the foundation of the penis,
making sure it is a snug fit.
enjoy yourself. enjoy your penis.
but don’t go flushing the proof down the toilet.

condoms are made of latex (very thin rubber),
or polyurethane (very thin pliable plastic),
and they fit over upright penises,
and they fit inside girls’ vaginas.

one is enough;
don’t use two condoms together.
this will make them less effective.

if the penis has a foreskin,
(and all fine penises do),
smoothly roll it back.

pinch the bulb of the condom to get rid of air.
condoms don’t last forever. change the condom after 30 minutes of sex.

most condoms have a reservoir tip
although some have a basic tip.
condoms may be ordinary shaped (with straight sides),
form fit (sunken below the skull of the penis),
or they may be flared (wider over the skull of the penis),
like trousers.

some condoms are textured with ribs or bumps,
which can amplify sensation for both fuckers.

there is no age limit for buying condoms.
buying a condom no matter how old you are shows you are taking responsibility for your actions.
never use the same condom twice.
if you choose to have anal intercourse after vaginal intercourse,
or vaginal intercourse after anal intercourse,
you should think about changing the condom.

it can be complicated to unzip the foil if you already have lube,
either natural or artificial,
on your fingers.