“The Internet” by Ryan Rader

Photography by Mick Davidson

The Internet invented itself.
The Internet has a website behind your forehead.
The Internet is the opposite of Bob Dylan.
The Internet alliterates.
The Internet twitters on crystal meth.
The Internet does not give a shit about anyone while simultaneously providing all the shit we
care about.
The Internet finds this hilarious. I do not.
The Internet makes me feel old and I am only twenty-one, someone buy me a drink.
The Internet is responsible for forty-eight percent of my sexual encounters.
The Internet tries to sell me erections.
The Internet LMFAO
The Internet has a motherboard and no fatherboard.
The Internet is a bastard.
The Internet has never offered me a handshake.
The Internet when can I go on ebay and buy what I need with my good looks?
The Internet this isn‟t my first rodeo.
The Internet porn and Facebook.
The Internet 56k modem bzzzzzz.
The Internet confuses my mother in ways I find humorous.
The Internet confuses me and it‟s not funny at all.
The Internet voted for Ralph Nader.
The Internet rhymes with the word „orange‟.
The Internet Benjamin Franklin would be pissed.
The Internet we made it to the moon!
The Internet is a series of tubes.
The Internet it’s all your fault.